I just want to rage and cry and punch things but Jamie is home and he will just get mad at me for being so upset about this.
I. FUCKING. HATE. THIS. DAY.
I am going to hoard everything from him forever now. I give him my only energy drink COUNTLESS times, I share my candy (which is basically my crack) I DON’T BUY NAIL POLISH FOR HIM AND HE CAN’T FUCKING SHARE ANYTHING WITH ME
THERE IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE KEY SMASH FOR ALL THE THINGS I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW
AND YOU CAN’T SHARE BEER WITH ME
WHAT
THE
FUCK
Wow, my boyfriend is kind of selfish. That’s awesome.
I want to take your stupid birthday present that I bought despite how much I hate it, and throw it under a steamroller.
I’M SO HAPPY I AM SO PART OF YOUR LIFE
But I am sitting on the floor and feeling extremely lazy
robert downey jr’s face was meant to be on cats okay
#died
I just…can’t Maru Downey Jr!
Instead of whispered, consider:
- murmured
- mumbled
- muttered
- breathed
- sighed
- hissed
- mouthed
- uttered
- intoned
- susurrated
- purred
- said in an undertone
- gasped
- hinted
- said low
- said into someone’s ear
- said softly
- said under one’s breath
- said in hushed tones
- insinuated
aye lil mama let me insinuate in ya ear
Yeah because “I want you” she said under her breath, is SUPER sexy
Holy shit. I forgot this song existed!
#AirplanePickUpLines : nice legs what time do they get the fuck off the back of my chair
Five months ago, I dropped my phone in a sink full of purple fabric dye…and it still works like a pro.
I can never express my love for Steve Jobs and his indestructible devices. And for Simon (my phone) for still putting up with my shit.
Do you guys know what this means
You’re pregnant before a dick’s even in you now
You could be pregnant right now and not even know it
I’m pregnant
you’re pregnant
WE’RE ALL PREGNANT
and are a LIGHTWEIGHT like I am, cheese and crackers does not make you less intoxicated.
WTF.
How am I supposed to hide the fact that I am drowning my feelings in alcohol, from my boyfriend while he’s at work?
