Dead Metaphor

Another Halloween without my hetero life mate Li. We usually get together everyday the few days before and pump scary movies into our brain, finishing off on Halloween night watching Michael Myers terrorize Lorie Strode while we costume up. While I am sad that I won’t be with her again this year, I can say that I am spending the night with Jam. I doubt very much that we’ll pump scary movies into us or dress up together, but I did make cookies and I know that I’ll still have a good night. Even if I’m not looking over at Li with wide eyes and saying “NOT SUBTLE” in our take on Michael’s voice, everytime something very obvious happens.

As morbid as I am, I cannot understand the things that people do to each other-least of all, children. How in the WORLD can someone steal a child, lock them up and auction them off, to other sick people just like them? It is beyond me. When crime shows take on the pedo angle…it sucks me in all while terrifying me to the core of my body.

And people wonder why I’m against bringing children into a world like this.

Woah! Sue Sylvester (Glee) is Spencer Reid’s (Criminal Minds) mom! He is so smart that it makes my brain hurt just trying to keep up with him. He’s still very cute though.

My iPod just died. I was looking up the scariest movies of all time and his screen went black. It didn’t come back on, no matter which button I pushed. My heart started beating in the back of my throat and I’m pretty sure if Seymour doesn’t reset I’m going to throw it up. I run to my mom’s laptop to plug him into life support. All of a sudden his wall paper flashes on, he makes a camera sound and is back running at full steam. It would seem seymour’s technocifer possession has now reached the orange alert. Or I hallucinated the whole thing.

Dear Mumzy,

I asked you to pick me up on your way home from work so I could visit. You said alright. There was never mention of a layover at a Halloween party. I am hurt and confused. I let you borrow my rocker boots

Love,

Triztron

These profilers…IT’S THE COURT STENOGRAPHER! NO ONE pays attention to the guy/girl tapping away on that little machine.

However Reid wins for best line in the episode: *trying to use chopsticks* It’s like trying to forrage for dinner with a pair of #2 pencils!

I have never been so happy to find vegetable soup in my cupboard EVER! Perfect Criminal Minds snack. Not too much like entrails or blood. But it’s definitely not popcorn or corn chips.

I used to live in a house with two boys and a hermit crab A.K.A a chick who never left her room. One of the guys and I used to stay up late and do mad libs online. I was reading some of the old mad libs and let’s just say that one of the lines went a little something like this

“I’m sorry sir, you see, my mother was a bee keeper, my father was fast and the trauma was just too much!”

Enough said.

I think someone needs to punch Rooftop in the throat…using Ruthless as a battering ram. Those two need to FUCK OFF

Me: If I eat one of your noodles cups will things get ugly?

Jamie: All is fair in love and hangovers

Ugh. I’m getting too old to drink until four thirty in the morning. Season one of Criminal Minds please soothe the savage beast in my dehydrated body

Twenty three years is a long time to believe that you will never be good enough to make someone happy. It’s also a very long time to hate yourself. That’s how long I was convinced that I would never find “the one.” And all that bull people spout about “it always comes when you least expect it” or “you always find them when you aren’t looking” always made me laugh and want to throat punch these people. They wouldn’t know. They would never know. Well, guess what? Those bullshitters were actually telling the truth. I stumbled upon my relationship when I went to take back a lousy video game. Who knew that the geeky little drum player I met in the high school band would be my “one”?